“I like my beer cold … my TV loud … and my homosexuals flaming.” ~Homer Simpson
“I used to rock ‘n roll all night and party everyday. Then it was every other day. Now I’m lucky if I can find half an hour a week in which to get funky.” ~Homer Simpson
“All right, brain, I don’t like you and you don’t like me – so let’s just do this and I’ll get back to killing you with beer.” ~Homer Simpson
“Bart, a woman is like beer. They look good, they smell good, and you’d step over your own mother just to get one!” ~Homer Simpson
“I would kill everyone in this room for a drop of sweet beer.”
~Homer Simpson
“Ah that’s just drunk talk, sweet beautiful drunk talk.” ~Barney Gumbal
“I’m worried about the beer supply. After this case and the other case – we only got one case left.” ~Barney Gumbal
“Ok, class, today we’ll be sitting quietly with the lights off, because teacher has a hangover.” ~Edna Krabappel
“Homer no function beer well without.” ~Homer Simpson
“Alcohol is my way of life, and I aim to keep it.” ~Homer Simpson
“Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.” ~Homer Simpson
“Ah beer, my one weakness. My Achilles heel if you will.” ~Homer Simpson
“To alchohol, the cause of and solution to all life’s problems.” ~Homer Simpson
“Now son, you don’t want to drink beer. That’s for daddies, and kids with fake IDs.” ~Homer Simpson
DOUGH… the stuff… that buys me beer
RAY… the guy that sells me beer
ME… the one… who drinks the beer
FAR… a long run to get beer
SO… I’ll have another beer
LA… I’ll have another beer
TEA… no, thanks, I’m drinking beer
That will bring us back to (looks into empty glass) D’OH!
~Homer Simpson
“The answer to life’s problems aren’t at the bottom of a beer bottle, they’re on TV.” ~Homer Simpson
“Oh no! What have I done? I smashed open my little boy’s piggy bank, and for what? A few measly cents, not even enough to buy one beer. Wait a minute, lemme count and make sure… not even close.” ~Homer Simpson
“You must love this country more than I love a cold beer on a hot Christmas morning.” ~Homer Simpson
“Stop wallowing in self-pity. Now pull yourself together and come get drunk with us.” ~Karl
“Alcohol and nightswimming. It’s a winning combination.” ~Lenny
“Welcome to the sacred order of the Stonecutters who since ancient times have split the rocks of ignorance which obscure the light of knowledge and truth. Now let’s all get drunk and play ping pong!” ~Number One
“Want some pretzels?”
“No thanks, we’re on duty. A couple beers would be nice, though.”
~The Simpsons
“Fruit rollups for Bart. Beer rollups for Homer.” ~Marge Simpson
“You can’t seriously want to ban alcohol. It tastes great, makes women appear more attractive, and makes a person virtually invulnerable to criticism.” ~Mayor Quimby
“Smithers, this beer isn’t working, I don’t feel any younger or funkier.” ~Mr. Burns
“I am in NO condition to be driving…wait a minute! I shouldnt be listening to myself…I’M DRUNK!” ~Homer Simpson
